Ernest Blofly wasn’t very happy with his day. Mr. Blofly was, in fact, fairly pissed off about his life in general. This was because, unknown to most, God hated Ernest Blofly.

And so it was that all of the worst things that were possible happened to Ernest Blofly.

 

Ernest Poquat Blofly was born at a very young age. He was a child of the 1950’s and, growing up in the suburbs outside of the bustling mining-town of Oberwalz, he was used to the usual amenities of the middle-class lifestyle.

At first, it seemed that he was a normal child. It was not until after his second birthday that the bizarre occurrences that became typical of Blofly’s later life became so unnervingly common.

It was on October 17, 1955, that Blofly was playing outdoors unattended when the first major incident occurred. Initially, it was considered a simple accident, but it was much more than mere chance.

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